This morning, I am feeling frustrated. Two weeks plus three days after the steroid shots and my hands hurt worse than they did before. I am discouraged. The grey skies accurately mirror my feelings today. Although a small bird occasionally twittering in the background reflects the hope that buoys my spirit.
Yesterday I volunteered at my church for close to four hours and have been experiencing terrible pain in my hands since. I was so grateful to have the time to serve as a volunteer. Yet, the pain while helping with a mailer was so intense that it tired me physically and took my appetite.
I know God can heal my hands. As sure as He can breathe life into the dry bones in Ezekiel, He can touch me. But will He? Am I a candidate for a miracle? And are there prerequisites for such a touch?
Why so downcast, oh my soul? I feel the words of the Psalmist in my soul today. Why am I down? God is not late. He does not renege on His promises. Just because my hands hurt, doesn’t mean I’m not called to write.
What if this pain is meant to deter me from the call of God on my life? What if He has greater, richer, higher plans for me than I can imagine? Then the enemy of my soul would assuredly launch an attack to try to get me to doubt the goodness of my God.
But I cling to Psalm 27:13 that reads, “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.”
This promise isn't contingent on anything other than my belief in God's goodness. It isn't predicated on performance, attempts at perfection, or accurately perceiving how God is moving in my current season.
I believe the beautiful purpose of trials is to strengthen our faith so we can be confident of God’s goodness for us in all seasons regardless of what may appear to be true on the surface.
I have a gut feeling that this year is going to be productive. That I will see the Lord bless my work with favor. That He will open doors for my work to be received and published.
So, of course, the enemy would pull out all of the stops to get me to doubt. His tricks never change. His battle plan remains the same today as it was in the garden. He planted seeds of doubt in Eve, the daughter of creation, which resulted in her forfeiture of God’s garden and His plans.
If I fall prey to pity party thinking, doubting my ability to perform the tasks ahead, then I too come dangerously close to losing out on God’s best. I am reminded of the Whac-A-Mole arcade game. When thoughts of doubt pop up and threaten to steal my confidence and joy, I must whack them down with the truth of Scripture.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Paul penned God’s words to us, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
So, the question is not whether God will heal me or not. The question is will I trust Him no matter what? Will I rely on His strength to sustain me as I type in pain. Or will I give up, go home (so to speak), and chalk it up as another disappointment?
No, I will stand on the promises of Psalm 37:5, “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.” I will trust God through the pain.
Lord, I commit my work, my writing, and all of my ways to You today. Help my mindset shift from thinking about what I cannot control to trusting in You to control the uncontrollable. I pray my meager offerings of words would be pleasing to You and encouraging to others. I praise You through the pain and trust that You meet me here to impart Your strength. You are good. Yes, You are good. Amen.
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